Friday, May 13, 2011

Being Real

I have been working full-time since Sept 1, 2010.  The pay is good as well as the location.  The people, for the most part, are fun to work with.  I have met a lot of people and have had busy and not so busy days.  I am learning a lot about how small towns or towns in NH are run.

There are a couple of things that I need to say...I Don't Like To Work.  I Don't Like To Be Away From My Family.  I Miss Homeschooling Nick and Sam.  I Wish I Could Stay Home To Be With Them.  (how's that for being real?)

Nick asked me tonight when I can stay home.  Oh how I wish it could be now.  I had to tell him that if I didn't work, we would be very poor and that my paycheck helps to pay for the food, shelter and clothing for all of us. I am not sure if he understood, but I do know that he doesn't  like me to work outside of the home either

I am exhausted trying to keep up the "happy-there is nothing wrong-positive" side while I am at work.  When I get home I am cranky, tired and not being a very good mother to Nick and Sam.  I am not sure how much longer I can keep this up.

I have been praying that we will be able to find a way for me to stay home.  I feel the tug at my heart to stay home.  I know that God has a plan for our family; I just wish I knew what the plan is. 

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